A Letter to Seniors

Now is a great time of change. It is a whirlwind of emotions with so much emphasis put on both spectra of the past and the future, with little regard placed on right now, today.

Soon you will leave the doors of Cherry Creek for good. You will move on to another time, to another experience, to another opportunity. Hopefully, you will take with you lessons that you have gained from inside the classroom, as well as from the simple notion of growing up over the years.

Some of the things that I wish I would have known, looking back, I would like to share. Take it as you will. I just know that I would have appreciated the same at your age…

Here you sit, at the precipice of something great. You have endless opportunity at your fingertips. You have the ability to make decisions and act upon those to better shape who you are directly, and even have a chance at impacting the entire world. You must always do yourself justice. Never settle for anything beyond your own scope of optimism. Understand that the moment is always now, and reach for everything that you desire.

Find something that you love. Seek out your passions and create dreams upon them. Listen to those dreams in order to develop meaningful goals to aim for. Stay powerful and confident in your mind, and trust me, these things will be attained.

It is so simple, really. If you desire something above everything else, you will find it in your heart to achieve.

Your mind is the most important and true thing that you have in this world. Allow your mind to be free of negativity and open to all that this world may have in store for you and you will guarantee great happiness and success each and every moment of every day.

Be optimistic about your future and be content with your past; however, do not live for either. There is only this moment, here—right now—that you can be sure of. Make it everything that you can by exuding confidence, grace, kindness, responsibility, and nurture it all into a neat bouquet to share with those around you.

How you perceive the world will be exactly how it is. The world only exists for the way that you see it, taste it, touch it, and feel it. Create a desire for all that you perceive to be good and beneficial to your overall growth as a human being.

Most of all, be proud of all that you’ve accomplished and be proud of who you are. Be excited to continue down winding and unpaved trails, picking up lessons and knowledge along the way. There are only two things that are certain in this world: 1) you will never stop learning, and 2) the only guarantee in life is now.

So, hold your head up high. Go into the world with light and love, and give all of yourself into finding and becoming all of yourself.

Silence For Swimming

Something suddenly just hit me. I have nothing swirling in my brain that ISN'T directly related to swimming... Thus, being the cause of my negligence.

Your purpose and meaning for life can swing and sway, and right now the wind is blowing fairly strong in one, specific direction.

I hope it doesn't cause too much of a storm. Or maybe I do.

See what I mean?

www.ryanistryin.blogspot.com

Giving Them the Credit

Teaching has never been a job for me.

When speaking of my "work" I always refer to it as "school", primarily because it doesn't truly feel like work. It feels like something more special. Even the word "career" isn't close. It could better be described as "a moral duty by my own consciousness and the Universe." Nah, that's not it either....

With that said, the hardest part of this "job" has always been learning about all of the external fireworks that moonlight as children's lives outside of the school walls. I can take the grading of papers. I can take the 5 lectures per day on the same biologically fascinating concept. I can take the helicopter parent calls. I can take the surprise administration observations.

I cannot take the truth that kids are not immune from the real world.

Currently, I have a myriad of real-life issues that should never even brush the shoulder of a child ranging from teen parenthood, to depression, to suicide, to disability, to harassment, and others (I shudder to think) that I'm not even aware of.

If only we could educate children about these issues without them actually having to have the experience of them. So many of our children are faced with problems that even the most stable of adults couldn't rope a lasso around. And they are supposed to also gain an education and be motivated on a daily basis for such things?

Kids aren't given enough credit for their poise, most of which who never realize the word for it.

My Conscious Memory

Often, I find myself trying to remember the slightest details as time does its ticking. I focus on sounds and colors and smells and feelings. I am trying, ever so desperately, to consciously create a memory.

For the most part, this effort is highly successful and I can be proud of that new moment that is now, forever, embedded deep within my cerebrum.

Today, was definitely one of those days.

I am starting to think that the process of conscious memory should happen more often in my life. The more things that I actively try to create as a memorable experience, the more of those memorable experiences I will have. Right?

Thirty & Thirsty.

For those of you that know me, it is no surprise that I spent the initial hours of my birthday rubbing tired 4AM eyes and hopping into an icy abyss of chlorine. Now, in my opinion, THAT is a celebration of life!

Stroke after stroke, breath after breath, I pondered my very existence the only way appropriate for such an early morning workout. I began asking myself, "What have I done in 30 years?" As the strokes became easier and the breath less labored, my question transitioned ever so slightly into, "What haven't I done in 30 years?"

This question proved to be the better of the two. I then could direct my attention to those goals and dreams that have been resting idle as well as those ever-scary "shoulda, woulda, couldas." The difference between now and every time prior: those thoughts felt freeing, empowering even.

I am a 30 year old woman with a lot of experience tucked tightly into my overflowing pockets. I have lived a life that few have journeyed and I have traveled beyond my own imagination over and over again. I am sparked by the prospects that the future may hold, for better or worse. For one of the greatest lessons that these 30 years have given me is that it ALL is worth it. I am 30 and thirsty!

T-Shirts!

Just a quick note:

For those of you who attended the June fund raiser held in my honor by two amazing young women, Sophie and Jordan, you may remember the awesome t-shirts they had made. For those of you who couldn't attend, take my word for it.

At their request, I would like to announce that

if you would still like to purchase a t-shirt there are some leftover. I'm not sure about sizes or quantities, but if interested please shoot over an email to:

inspiredshirts@gmail.com

Growing Up Takes Time

Growing up is something that happens to everyone, if they are lucky enough. It comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes. It becomes a drastically different concept the closer you are to reaching it. It is fantastically uncharted territory that everyone dreams about on some level. It is scary.

If we were to pause and take a flashback into a time where I was too young to drive, too young to have a mortgage, and too young to be disappointed we would see the half-my-current-age me longing for nothing more than to ace my dreaded biology final and buy that awesome shirt at the mall.

That same Ryan would also be dreaming of her future like any other teenager would. It is so remarkable how those ideas tend to change through time by the hands of your experiences alone.

Beyond myself, I would gaze into the future of my friends. I would wonder about their existences and mine down the road. Would we still be in each others' lives? Would we all be happy?

Over the past two weekends I have spent some time gazing into the current futures of my friends. I have been to the baby shower of a beloved friend and the engagement party of another; both of who were bound to me with something stronger than blood that night over 13 years ago that changed everything.

To watch these friends grow and change and add to their lives in the form of companions, family, friends, and now babies I couldn't help but feel a beaming from my heart. These strong and deserving friends of mine are growing up. They are beginning new journeys that will take them very far for a very long time. I am so proud to even witness it.

As for me? I am still searching. I am sort of realizing that part of my path is to remain a searcher. For some reason I need that unbalanced side to keep everything in place. I am growing up, just not the way that I had particularly fantasized about so long ago. However, this life that sits before me is, undoubtedly, a comforting mix of chaos and drawing outside of the lines.

I appreciate it everyday, so much that I have wholeheartedly stopped fantasizing about the future.

The Midst of Accomplishment

Today, an essay that I wrote back in December was finally published! It is a "This I Believe" essay. Time seems to fade away ever so slightly in the midst of accomplishment.

I wrote this piece as one of my "projects" and had nearly forgotten about its presence until I received an email about it this morning. It was fun to reread and reflect on the specifics of that time period. Although I'd never like to go back to that determined point, it is ever so necessary that it existed in the first place.

My Future, Backwards.

Something that has been circling in my mind as of late is the notion of one's experiences through time. There are journeys and travels. There always is a first for everything, as well as a last. There are memories of things that have never been. There are feelings of familiarity and nostalgia. There is a time for it all.

Lately, my tiny spotlight has been positioned upon those experiences that are presently occurring, reminding you of a past in which felt completely different.

For example, I have a fond memory of me getting lost on a non-specific New Year's Day through the winding roads of the mountains. Panic had set in, not because of my unknown surroundings, but rather because my gas gauge was shining it's little orange light indicating the necessity of a gas station. There was none in sight. Finally, I convinced myself to turn around the the way I had come; for there was a gas station in this small town I passed nearly 20 minutes ago. The station was closed, but luckily the owner of it was bored and saw me pull in. He turned on the pumps just for me. Needless to say, that small town was Kittredge... the town that I currently call home. That winded highway... the road that my property looks out to, a road I journey nearly everyday and could, most likely, do so without eyesight. The gas station... one of only a few places in town to buy essentials and chat up the weather.

I think of this story at times when I come across a new adventure or highway, wondering if it will, somehow, in the future be part of my life. This backwards sort of logic has been sort of fun when fantasizing about my future and future instances.

Looking at life backwards to look toward the future is something that makes sense to me, for whatever reason, and it's comfortable. I suggest a sampling of your own. I guess it's just another perspective to dive into, to see all angles of light that projects onto you.

On Being Healed

Healing is a concept not only reserved for the body, but for the mind as well. This concept refers to a state in which either your body or brain are slowly returning to its natural state of normal.

My healing has been an ongoing process for over a year now. Whether in brain or body, my healing has consumed me. It has been so difficult pretending to live a normal life while feeling like there is healing yet to happen.

Today, however, I am exclaiming to the echoes in the mountains, the stars in the sky, and the fish in the sea that I am HEALED!

It has been so long since I have had this sort of confidence. I am incredibly empowered and am ready to put my health issues behind me. And even more so, I am not frightened that new issues lie around every sneaky corner.

With all of that said, I am off to regain my life back. Perhaps a walk around the lake will help jump-start this new existence...

The Path That Leads You

I have always been a firm believer in fate. And in my head, that fate looks like paths outlined in finely grained dirt the color of adobe brick, surrounded by tall reeds of glowing grasses dancing in an imaginary breeze.

Throughout my life thus far, I have faced many forks in the road, many a windstorm erasing the dirt path underneath me, and many sun-shiny paths awaiting my arrival. I never fret about the path to take, for I feel like it is decided already and will be the right choice no matter what.

So long as you are willing to pay attention on the steps that you make as you walk down that path... left foot, right foot... you are reflecting upon the experience, which is the whole purpose of it all anyway.

The path is the most important part of life. It's the journey that takes you there. The "there" doesn't really matter in the end. It is the "left foot, right foot" thing that makes all the difference.

Magic Happens Every Day...

...if you are brave enough to see it.

Open your eyes to the wonders of the world. Explore beyond your mind. Explore into your mind. There are endless possibilities for happiness, growth, strength, and opportunity provided that you are keen to understand both sides of the story.

Be brave, be open, be you.

A Brave New Blog

My mind has been consumed lately with the fantasy of swimming. Of becoming exactly what I never knew I could be. Those thoughts are with me as my eyes first establish their morning squint. Those thoughts are with me as I parade around my laundry basket. Those thoughts are with me while riding my bike in fabulous circles through the park. Those thoughts also find their way to my dreams.

I have to follow it. I have to go for it and try something that I never felt possible. And because of it all, I had to find a way to share it all.

Please visit my new training blog at:

Ryan Is Tryin'

The Path Through Communication

Communication is one of our most powerful tools. It sets humans apart from most other organisms in the way we verbalize, cue, and create languages suited for describing emotion.

I have always been a strong advocate for utilizing communication within all relationships; however, I had (in my past) neglected to note the power that hid within reaching out and communicating with people that are outside of your personal comfort.

Just today I have I been reminded of that power having sought out an old coaching acquaintance for some potential personal and professional help. The request was nabbed with open arms and I am so excited to be receiving assistance in such a gracious manner. (**more to come on this later!)

Nevertheless, this experience reminds me of the very first time I reached out to communicate with a total stranger. I blindly contacted the director of an organization that I felt passionate about. That email turned into an afternoon of tea, which turned into being introduced to her children and husband, which soon became a sort of kinship that I have never knew I was missing before.

These instances of communication, I feel, are a way of possessing my own destiny while ensuring that the path I've chosen is in the right direction at the right time. It feels really good to take a leap to communicate with someone new and have it directly create a path that you know has actually been there, hidden by layers of earth and green, all along.

Lessons In Failing

Out of everything that I am sure of, I know that the lessons that we learn and take with us are the things that create LIFE. Everything else is just extra STUFF that keeps us either entertained or distracted.

With that said, I have learned a very valuable lesson that (I believe) was actually crucial in being able to continue on living with a smile, clinking my lucky penny alongside my heart-shaped tin of hope, while skipping and whistling the theme song to "It's A Wonderful Life."

This lesson, I now realize, could only be achieved through a blast of great darkness. Over a year ago, being placed on indefinite bed rest and forced with the thought of not being able to heal, I felt hopeless... motionless... guideless..........................scared.

For the first time in my life, even through previous tumbles and falls, my body did not have the power or will, or both, to heal itself. No matter the medication. No matter the meditation. My body had failed in a big way. The infection had won and without the blessing of modern medical conveniences, my body would have surrendered entirely to a solider with one simple name: Bacteria.

As much as I tried not to focus on the fact that my body had failed in such a manner, it was extremely distressing. If my body were to give up so easily this time around, how many more chances did I have left? The entire experience was shuddering.

Shoved strategically to the darkest lobes of my brain, those thoughts appeared to fade once the surgeries had done the jobs that my body couldn't and I began to regain the life I had once known.

Fast-forward seven months and there you have another moment of failure. If I were my body's biology teacher, they'd be out of intramurals for sure, meeting at my round table every lunch period just to raise it's grade. This failure put my mind exactly back to the place I was before. Scared and untrusting of its power and will to endure any sort of natural healing.

However, after giving my body those tools it needed: nourishment, water, sleep, vitamins, exercise, love, respect, confidence... it finally responded.

This time, my body told me that it would not let me down. It was not going to fail me again. My body, with all of the power and teamwork of healthy cells, proved to me that it's not over. That the remarkable human body doesn't have to cease to amaze me, or anyone else for that matter. It will be there, doing its job, if you let it... and trust it.

Now that I have that impression of the capacity and capabilities that my body HAD in store for me, I can only wonder and dream about the possibilities that STILL lie ahead.

Take Your Marks

If you tell yourself something enough, those words become feelings and those feelings then, in turn, slowly become truth.

This cycle can be quite useful when telling yourself something goal-oriented or wise, and conversely quite detrimental when based upon pessimism and defeat. I never quite realized this applied to me because, ironically enough, I had told myself the same phrase so many times that it became a piece of me: like that scarf you always wrap your neck with or the wristwatch that gave you a matching tan.

This phrase, my phrase crept up on me shortly after becoming paralyzed. I never noticed it outwardly, but the feelings were immediate.

The phrase? You ask? "I could have been a good swimmer. I could have really gone somewhere, if I would have taken that opportunity to realize it while I still had the chance."

Even while I attempted to compete again nearly a decade ago, those words swam right along with me. Perhaps those words were all I had between me and actual competitive and mental victory.

It wasn't until a few weeks ago-- not to mention two bouts of bed rest and many notions of health shock-- that I realized something within me, that I created, was acting as a barrier. A barrier that had been present almost longer than not.

As I pushed my arms against the staircase descending into the water, I plunged my entire body and soul until I was completely submerged. At that point, it was just me and the water. Sounds coming from that conch shell of my mind followed the bubbles from my mouth. I was, in that exact moment, alone in the world with nothing but myself.

And what did I tell myself? That I COULD have been something. That I COULD have made it. That I COULD have accomplished it all.

For the first time ever, I told myself to be quiet.

I returned my focus to the bubbles and the conch shell. It was then, and only then, did I realize that it is NEVER TOO LATE...

I CAN be something. I CAN make it. I CAN accomplish it all.

And so here I sit, ready to compete again. I am ready to prove to myself and no one else that I can do the very thing that I have created previous barriers against. It may only be swimming, but to me it is a very crucial start in the right direction.

This new strength of potential achievement leaves me with, not only the contentment of a new project, but also with the excitement of (literally) uncharted waters. And with that, I pull harder than I ever have before. I push myself to want to stop. I set short-term goals for an upcoming meet in CA. I make this happen.

A Promise

In sharing the afternoon with a friend, I realized something VERY important pouring out of my mouth...

I was reminiscing about my time spent in India and the self-appointed job of daily blogging, when I suddenly realized how crucial that writing was to me at that time. I also realized that nothing within me has changed so to make that event any less important. Having a moment at the end of my every day to reflect on that particular day's worth is such a fantastic way to stay connected with your mind, body, and the rest of the Universe.

With that said, I can't promise to write everyday... but what I can promise to myself is a greater consciousness of reflection upon the experiences that combine to make up a single day in the life.

Time For A New Motto

A few weeks ago, you may have heard my latest motto: "without health you have nothing." You may have even agreed with me. For I am the ultimate first-hand posterchild for such a phrase. Once my health begins to deteriorate (only months after regaining it), I am (once again) enlisted into an army of dispair, waiting patiently for its return while surrendering to the unease of time in a bed-bound state.

BUT this is a new time. It is always a new time. Moments pass by and can never be relived or even imagined to the same extent. My recent setback brought me straight back to moments of my sickness last year, ones never to be compared. I spent awhile feeling as though I was retracing those torrid steps, one pace at a time, until I realized that it was only me who had made the claim of sameness.

This experience, just like every one before, is new. And in the struggle to not compare my past health with my current health, I have come to realize something more important than the experience itself: my life is so much more than the pieces that make up my day.

I am wrong; without health I still have so much.

I have friends and smiles and curiosity and juicy apples and daydreams and sunshine and hugs and late-night advice and baby giggles and hummingbirds and so much more that I have let go to the wayside by giving discontent its given name.

But no more. My health is important, that is the truth; however, my life is far more complex and enduring and cannot all be stopped because of this one important aspect.

My life will not be over as long as I am around to live it.

DETOUR

A few weeks ago, as I was traveling home I stumbled upon some unusual traffic heading up the mountain. Traffic never seems to worry me; typically it gives me some well-sought out reflection and replenish time.

The road was a steep grade up through the foothills, making it practically impossible to see any clarity in the horizon. The cars came to a stop. In the distance, a LED sign securing all of the commuters' fates: "BOULDER IN ROAD. ROAD CLOSED. DETOUR."

Enduring the delay, and not realizing at the time the profound metaphor that was created therein, I joyfully turned up the radio and took the longer way home.

This experience serves as a particularly important lesson to me at this time. Although there may be a boulder in your path preventing you from traveling the method you originally chose, the slowed traffic will find a way to its destination one way or another.

Perhaps in this metaphor my precise destination is unknown; however I will endure this DETOUR with the radio up and a smile of my lips.

The Importance of Education

Education is a lifelong process; in fact, it is the only process that you can begin with your birth and carry with you for the rest of your life. Therefore, it is crucial to find meaning and recognition in those aspects of your life that are there to teach you. Education does not only have to be found in a classroom, surrounded by chalk dust and sharpened pencils. Education can, and should be, everywhere.

Traditional education through academia is imperative in the journey of one’s life. There you will be introduced to the world of wonder: having virtually every subject, resource, and material at your fingertips. School is a foundation of truth and curiosity, provided that you let it be so.

In addition to traditional education, learning should not arrest there. A doorway into a world that exists for one’s own fostering and progression, school is just the beginning.

"I was bold in the pursuit of knowledge, never fearing to follow truth and reason to whatever results they led, and bearding every authority which stood in their way."

-- Thomas Jefferson

The wealth of education is upon you, it is within each one of us wrestling to get out and discover the world. Knowledge is the key to a happy and successful existence, with a bright splash of perspective and motivation, your educational pursuit can take you anywhere.