A Step In Time

Yesterday, for the first time since I have been using calipers and weak hip muscles to fling my legs in specific mimicry of something familiar, I felt a sense of release.

It felt as if I was, some how, not fighting with the obstacles of not being able to move my lower extremities the way that the rest of you do. I wasn't really pushing against those years of neglect on restricted muscles and tendons, and the pressure on my shoulders from acting as both the scaffolding and the foundation of my body had eased a breath or two.

From the first time, I felt like I could concentrate on the movement of those externally, eternally flexed legs that gave me posture and allowed me height. In the past, the movements have all been forced, to say the least. Not only was my upper body completely responsible for holding the rest of me upright, but it was also in charge of the actual steps that followed.

I am not sure if it is just that I am getting stronger and that my stamina is increasing, but it feels a lot lighter and a lot less forced as of now. I take less effort in standing and positioning so that I can use that strength to propel my body forwards, backwards, or sideways based on Chavi's careful instructions.

My gait has increased from 3 rounds on the first day to about 6 rounds. Perhaps the secret lies in gaining more confidence in the overall approach and execution of this maneuvering. Uncertain of the cause for things, I will continue to sweat and strive for increasing steps and controlled motions. I will take it one step at a time, for now!