Lessons In Failing

Out of everything that I am sure of, I know that the lessons that we learn and take with us are the things that create LIFE. Everything else is just extra STUFF that keeps us either entertained or distracted.

With that said, I have learned a very valuable lesson that (I believe) was actually crucial in being able to continue on living with a smile, clinking my lucky penny alongside my heart-shaped tin of hope, while skipping and whistling the theme song to "It's A Wonderful Life."

This lesson, I now realize, could only be achieved through a blast of great darkness. Over a year ago, being placed on indefinite bed rest and forced with the thought of not being able to heal, I felt hopeless... motionless... guideless..........................scared.

For the first time in my life, even through previous tumbles and falls, my body did not have the power or will, or both, to heal itself. No matter the medication. No matter the meditation. My body had failed in a big way. The infection had won and without the blessing of modern medical conveniences, my body would have surrendered entirely to a solider with one simple name: Bacteria.

As much as I tried not to focus on the fact that my body had failed in such a manner, it was extremely distressing. If my body were to give up so easily this time around, how many more chances did I have left? The entire experience was shuddering.

Shoved strategically to the darkest lobes of my brain, those thoughts appeared to fade once the surgeries had done the jobs that my body couldn't and I began to regain the life I had once known.

Fast-forward seven months and there you have another moment of failure. If I were my body's biology teacher, they'd be out of intramurals for sure, meeting at my round table every lunch period just to raise it's grade. This failure put my mind exactly back to the place I was before. Scared and untrusting of its power and will to endure any sort of natural healing.

However, after giving my body those tools it needed: nourishment, water, sleep, vitamins, exercise, love, respect, confidence... it finally responded.

This time, my body told me that it would not let me down. It was not going to fail me again. My body, with all of the power and teamwork of healthy cells, proved to me that it's not over. That the remarkable human body doesn't have to cease to amaze me, or anyone else for that matter. It will be there, doing its job, if you let it... and trust it.

Now that I have that impression of the capacity and capabilities that my body HAD in store for me, I can only wonder and dream about the possibilities that STILL lie ahead.