Opened Doors

I knew things were going to be different this trip, but I had no way of anticipating the difference in the procedures as well. The procedure that I had yesterday was an epidural injection, which I endured for the first time in the summer. From what I could remember, it was a painless procedure that left no lasting remarks other than lying flat under lopsided bricks for 5 hours.

This same procedure that I had yesterday came as quite a surprise to me. Same protocol: small room, even smaller bathroom, change to hospital gown, insert IV cannula (twice for good measure), carry me onto the gurney, wheel down to the Operation Theatre, and greet a smiling Dr. Ashish. Same thing, different date... or so I thought.

As Dr. Ashish began poking my vertebrae to find the perfect space and landmarks for the injection, I noticed one slight change-- I could feel where he was prodding around! Immediately everyone sensed my nervousness, heightened by the incessant beeping of the heart-rate monitor... so a few numbing injections were set in place. Dr. Ashish soothed me by telling me that he checked his notes from last time and was trying a little bit of a different approach, that he felt would give me the most optimum of benefits. My nerves subsided, emotionally that is.

From there, he began to inject the cells towards the right side of my spine from what I could tell. Surprisingly, a shear sense of pain and impulse was sent directly towards the base of my lungs and near my heart. I felt like I had the most horrendous side cramp and heartburn all in the same instance. My body writhed on its own, a poor attempt at trying to get away from the beautiful foreign matter spewing into my back. I talked myself into trying to calm down. I wanted to invite these cells in, and not be rigid and scared. I wanted to greet them at the front door with open arms and an all-American apple pie.

It was so terribly hard.

The pains were increasing and I could feel the injections coming into my spine, now on the left side. Immediately a scorching amount of heat shot up my spine, into my neck. Pressure filled my head. There was a lot of worrying taking place in my head at this point, for that is how I remembered the last procedure that I had in the summer (which put me flat out for almost a week).

As all of this was happening, I relayed every part of it to Dr. Ashish and his crew, to the point of telling them repeatedly that my back was going to explode. In a calm manner, Dr. Ashish simply replied, "Can you tolerate it?" Of course I could tolerate it. I could tolerate anything!

Once it was over, I realized that my whole body was sweating and Dr. Ashish confessed that his was too. What a powerful moment. It only took a few minutes for the pressure and tightness throughout my body to leave and for my optimism to return. This was a good one! We all decided.

Dr. Ashish patted me on the head and told me that I did a terrific job. It feels good to make him proud.

From there I spent the next 5 hours in bed. Graham did a great job of keeping me busy with some bad jokes, passages about far-away lands, makeshift wall-ball games, airplanes down the hatchet, and the Discovery Channel. All in a day's work for him, I suppose.

Today I feel rejuvenated and ready to go. The only small reminder from the pain of yesterday is isolated into one small injection site on my back. This is the door to many things to come, hopefully.