Day 13

I just completed something that I have wanted to do for the past decade or so, possibly longer. The reason for not completing it sooner was due to the reluctance of how it would be received. But tonight, after sitting in front of my email for over 20 minutes debating all sorts of curious "what ifs" in my head, I came to the conclusion to just do it.

One of the most powerful tools that we as humans can display is the ability to use words to depict emotion. Being so powerful, one has got to choose words wisely in order to portray the most accurate experience to the person receiving it. This is, perhaps, why it has taken me so long to gain the power to describe all of my feelings to someone very important to me.

Tonight, I wrote an overly edited email to someone who, unintentionally, became responsible for changing my life so many years ago. I have been urged to share with her how she was never at fault, in my eyes. I have also wanted, desperately even, to express to her how wonderful my life has been and how I honestly wouldn't take ANY of it back for a second.

Grief, fear, and avoidance seem to rule so much of this world already; I couldn't let it continue to feel a part of my world anymore. Nobody deserves to feel pain when it isn't warranted. And when the chance arises to show someone that they need not feel that pain, you should jump at it, right?

My only worry is that I have chosen the wrong path in this instance. I hope that she finds comfort and feels a bit of closure. It is okay to unleash from the past and shed what has been burdening you for years if you feel it. I just hope this is, indeed, a much needed moment of resolution and that this will have an everlasting and positive effect on someone's life.