Tick-Tock

Time heals all wounds. Time is of the essence. Time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time. Time is money. Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it.

Although it is a concept that is completely inspired by man, meaning that it only exists because we pay attention to it, time has soaked through every facet of every life. I've never quite understood how so much effort is spent on something that is so translucent and intangible, something that cannot be dug up nor dished out nor hung to dry. But for some reason, time is everywhere... existing because we give it power and meaning. We give it thanks when it follows in our favor and we curse it and blame it when we are too weak to carry our own.

I, too, have been subject to the impenetrability of time. Some of my emotions are even dependent upon where time stands in circles of my own circumstances...

Closely arriving the annual reminder of my time spent on this earth, I sit here thinking quite remarkably about the weight that is placed upon time. I feel anxiety towards many things. Is it true that I am only 24 months shy of 30 years of age? Is it also true that I have a mere 8 days left here in Delhi? It couldn't possibly be true that I have spent almost 12 years in a wheelchair. Where has time gone and why didn't I noticed him as he slipped past me out the door? Sissy.

I can't believe that my time here is almost over. I am so settled in life here: the Hinglish, the head bobs, the paneer tikka, the rickshaws, even the cows. They all seem to be part of who I am, aside from the actual reason that I even came to this great stinky land in the first place.

As you may have guessed it, time has an amazing relationship with stem cells as well. There are jokes floating around about the anti-aging qualities of these little cells, but it is all (frighteningly) true. Stem cells have the power and the potential to effect time and cause little breaks in the natural course of things. This is exactly what I was searching for by coming. I am not looking for the new and fabulous stem cell face cream for my surfacing crow's feet, but I am, however, looking for a way to extend the quality of how I manage and utilize my time on this planet.

So far these little, tiny cells have flooded my system. They have given my lower extremities a much-welcomed bath of oxygen-rich blood that has caused my wounds to heal, my scars to mend, and my edema to cease. As far as I am concerned, I am playing a pretty stiff poker game with time and I am holding a full-house.

The intention that one has for time to play a role is the most crucial aspect of how time is utilized. In the eyes of the universe, these 2 months in India has been a drop of water in a whale's mouth. However for my fairly neglected body, these 2 months have been a lifetime of renewal.

And in the same respect, I feel like I have been here forever and a lifetime, all the while feeling like I haven't done a darn thing in this short adventure to somewhere. Here is where a lot of my anxiety is building. Currently I am making lists in my head of things I need to buy, places I need to explore, people I need to thank, and exercises I need to remember. In only a week's time!

I am not really sure how time has such control over the way we act and react, and better yet how we understand our emotions. It is silly really... all that we have is time, yet time isn't really more substantial than the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus. For something that I have such difficulty with understanding, it sure does run my life pretty well.

I just hope that no matter what, the time that I have lost will remain with me forever in thought; whereas the time that is waiting for me is full of wonder and mystery and hope for the greatness of things that still remains unrealized by my mind at this point.