I think that I had originally planned this day to prepare for me to go back to school. Now that today is here I have absolutely no idea how I am supposed to plan for anything...
How am I supposed to plan for all of the questions I will be asked? How am I to plan for missing two months of bills, watering plants, car washes, and groceries? Who would have known that I needed to plan on being so sad?
It is truly strange to be home. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my home, but I just feel like I forgot something along the way home. (And I don't mean my luggage, which I actually did lose too.) I have a certain sense of anxiety being home, partially because I don't really understand why I have it and partially because I know EXACTLY why I have it. I know that the sooner I jump back into my life the better off I will be. I know that I have spent the past two months of my life in a crucial arrangement. I know that I have learned my fair share.
This journey was a necessary struggle in many ways tied up in a neat little bow of happiness and discovery. I learned so much of my inner self. I whispered secret fears and were answered in hopes and dreams. I found confidence in myself and in mankind.
The time has come for me to return to the world that I have strategically cut out for me and use all of the adventures and wisdom I've gained in India. I owe so much to this experience and hope to really foster these feelings and emotions into a new way of life.
I will continue to learn and teach the world and chronicle along the way. I will always take with me Vandana's integrity, Dr. Ashish's smile, Lalan's laugh, Rita's warmth, Michael's understanding of it all, and Dr. Shroff's courage.
Thank you everyone for being there every step of the way with me. Many of you assume this is all over, but those of you who really know me know that it has all just begun. See you out there.
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Something Very Good Is Happening
12 years ago
6 comments:
Good to have you back. We missed you. Call me when you get settled and are ready to talk Creek and Skins.
Decker
Welcome. Back in the USsA. Surprise, the only part that's over is you left your 'family' and friends in India and returned to your family and friends in Colorado
It's not over by a long shot. You have to go back every four to six months for the next three years. Plan on it.
And in between those trips back to India, the stem cells are growing and learning so you have to keep doing that PT to train them.
People are going to ask what can you feel, what can you do, why can't you walk. Don't sweat it. Read paragraph two above. Just tell them it's a process that takes time and here are the things I can do now that I couldn't do 6 months or 10 years ago.
And keep in touch with all your families and friends cause we'll all get there together.
Best wishes:
Louis
LRMiceli6@comcast.net
PS:I found that if I'm going to lose my luggage, it's always better to do so on the way home. Amy says it's better going away...cause she gets a new wardrobe!
Welcome back to the USA and Cherry Creek Ryan. Your whole journey is always inspirational to me, and I will continue to follow it. While I am sure getting back to your life here will be an adjustment, just reading your story and blog shows us that you will make the transition with your usual grace, warmth, excitement, and hope, and I have faith those little cells will be inspired by you to kick into shape and get their part of the job done. I will see you back at Creek.
Best,
Mary Beth
Hi Ryan! Welcome back to the states! I had dinner with Kanako last night and told her how I kept up on BOTH of your blogs regularly while you were in India. I was so impressed by what I saw, that I showed lots of other people the video that was posted on Kanako's page! :) You are awesome! I wasn't sure that you would remember me from San Diego, so I opted out of leaving you comments, figuring you would think, "who is this crazy girl talking as if we've met before ?":)!
Have fun getting re-settled back into the groove of things in Colorado and I will chat with you soon!!!!
-Katie
Hi Sweet Friend, Welcome Home!
I am glad you're back and emersing into the swing of your Colorado lifestyle. India is part of your soul and it will be forever with you. We are connected by that one embryo that has given life to each of us. We are also connected beyond the stem cell link, but in a grand soul sisterly way. You and I are now a part of the caliper pants club. What a beautiful vision of breaking free of those metal stablizers and running fast like Forest Gump. Is it realistic? I don't know Ryan! I am not sure if you or I will walk from this crazy treatment (and much of the time I have doubts), but I am enjoying the renewed quality of life it has given me. I continue to get stronger and its not just in my mind. I am able to walk on my knees hanging on to my walker with less pressure, and I can also walk backwards on my knees as of yesterday. It's not pretty but who cares. I am still filled with HOPE.
I have loved reading your blog. You are such a beautiful writer and I enjoyed viewing the world of Green Park, Gataum Nagar, and Delhi's environs through your gorgeous blue eyes. Thank you, and thank you to your phenomenal friends for their blogs, their videos, and their unconditional loving support of their precious Ry Ry. Please extend my thanks to Erin, Sarah, and Kanako. In fact, maybe forward this email. They are stella friends, the very best of the best. They have given you strength and comaraderie. You each share a fragment of that ancient land and culture.
Ryan, settling back into life at home is tougher than tough...and confronting an onslaught of comments from a questioning and curious community is no easy feat. Keep your faith, blow off the skeptics, and allow those little baby stem cells to continue to gestate in your body. If anything, they will give you more energy and quality of life. We have been injected with a divine gift of life--we are the lucky ones.
I am proud of you Ryan. I send you a super BIG HUG. Enjoy this gorgeous state we live in, enjoy the quietness free of horn honking pandemonium, and enjoy smog-free cobalt blue skies. If you want to drive up to the mountains, my place is your place. You are so very welcome, especially with your amazing friends in tow. If you want to call and chat, I'm here.
Be strong. Continue to be the amazing YOU shining that beautiful smile. You are a warrior of light. You are an emissary of hope (even if you never spoke a word about your experience or wrote one more blog entry). You radiate no matter what.
I love you,
Amanda and my little Tucker xoxoxoxo
Ryan,
I am so honored that my son has you as a teacher. You are truly an inspiration. We want to help you out anyway that is possible.
All the best. Kim
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