Flexing My Mind

I will be having my second procedure today, in only a few hours. This procedure will entail injecting cells just below my site of injury (T5). For some reason, I am actually looking forward to it... go figure.

Trying to move muscles that haven't moved for over a decade is extremely hard work. While I am at Physio there are certain muscle movements that appear rather easy to visualize in my head and there are others that don't. I have a pretty strong grasp on "flexing" my quads and hamstrings in my head, along with my toes and feet; but for some reason I have a really hard time "flexing" my calves in my head. I think that it is really good that there is a strong sense of visualization for this, although sometimes it totally takes over and I feel like these muscles are really moving. They aren't yet, but at least it is a start.

It sort of feels like my lower body is encased in the most sturdy fortress of a suit of armor. I feel the flex with much ease, but it is never enough to penetrate that thick metal layer hiding it all away. Until my movements become powerful enough they will remain unseen. It's like a secret that my brain is holding out on, not willing anyone to see how much fun it is having deep down. Let's share this secret, Brain, shall we?

From what I am told, I should be getting calipers tomorrow. I am excited for whenever they decide to come. I am hoping that they are hot pink.