The Tale of the Tumultous Taj

Once upon a time there was a faraway land called, Agra. There were various rumors claiming the necessity for those who journey to Delhi to also extend their voyage to Agra, for Agra held one of world's only remaining wonders (due to the influx of Google, of course)... The Taj. Now this was no small feat, this Taj. People had been traveling for years just to catch a glimpse, primarily at dusk and dawn because of the reflective qualities of the marble. Having been built for luxury, the Taj appears to this day as the wedding cake of the universe.

Those who decided to endeavor from their Delhi homes to Agra must be wary of the journey that lie ahead. Getting to Agra is no simple task. There are millions of charging metal rollers of all sizes to block your way by weaving in your path, yelling with horns to attempt to scare you away, or even crashing together to form even larger metal rollers that no longer roll but block the roadways completely. The few brave and agile ones that make it through will also be tempted by all sorts of mystical creatures who will try to distract their mission. Creatures that wrap on windows motioning to their mouths. They want to eat you. Creatures that shove shiny things and perfumed things at you. They want to blind you. Creatures that have humps and also creatures that have trunks. They want to poop on you.

Luckily, the heroines who dared travel to Agra enlist the aid of a shaman who took them there with little distraction or distaste. This was a true benefit because he was really powerful, you could tell because you could hear radical Hindi pop music coming from his rolling ball of metal. (By the way my new fav is a Punjabi artist known only as Rambo). This music will help glide you to the beautiful land with five and a half hours appearing to fly by as if it had only been five and a quarter.

During a time of great rule and deceit, the surrounding areas of Agra and the Taj were disguised. The people who lived there didn't want to share in the beauty, so therefore they covered the land in cow manure, human urine, and stagnant water. The townspeople were truly overjoyed when they were able to see how well their camouflage worked.

Our heroines from Delhi made it into town and found it hard to manage at all. After having their chariot nearly sink in a road of nothing but water, they barely made it safely to an inn where they could rest their eyes. But before they could manage any rest, they had to eat dinner at a dangerous place with illusory golden arches that almost touched heaven and hell, as well as climb up slippery mountains of marble to locate a place to sleep for the night.

By daybreak our heroines, tired and worn, set out to find the Taj... and find they did. It was just as they had heard. Beauty. Grace. Power. 750 Rupees. No photos beyond this point. "You want postcards, ma'am?"

Feeling completely satisfied in their journey, the heroines headed for home; for they knew that no matter what the labor and expectation was they would be foolish to be so close to the Taj and never witness it for themselves. (That's the only reason to go, in my opinion). And they lived happily ever after...

~The End~